I’d like to think I was cool on the interweb at one point. Even writing “cool” sounds stupid, though, especially after the last few years of saying ridiculous statements like “maxin’ relaxin,” “gettin’ weird,” or answering people with “party” when they ask me something that has absolutely nothing to do with social gatherings.
Yes, I know those statements sound ridiculous, but we all develop our own languages. Our friends are enablers in these situations, which brings me to why I now feel old on social media. How well “ballin” is your hashtag game on Instagram? I bet you are getting some “likes” from your friends and random people when you post that #beach #tbt. Well, that is okay… if you are 27 and have 300 followers! Not cool, bro. No one cares unless you are posting pictures of you and your friends, then letting your other friends vote off the ugliest until there is a sole survivor. Need a more in-depth explanation? Read the article below, and then join me again after the jump.
Exactly. Petty little princesses right? Not so fast, ladies. When you were in high school, did you ever team up on one friend and exclude her for no good reason? You definitely had your own version of a burn book (Mean Girls reference: if you don’t know, you should). Still, these are habits best left to adolescents. If I ran my Instagram the way this trend suggests, I would lose friends, followers, and have to be concerned about retaliation every time I passed a dark alley.
The right way to look at this situation is that teenagers are stupid. I was stupid when I was a kid. You probably were, too, so we know where these impulses are coming from. Instagram is way better, though, when you follow your favorite brands, thought leaders, and your real-life friends who “like” and comment on your photos because they actually like you. Touching, right? I know, I should totally speak at my local high schools about acceptance of others and bullying. (Currently accepting all offers to speak at motivational conferences, you guys.)
Since I don’t wish to participate in petty games on social networks, I suppose I am too old to actually be “cool.” Then again who even says “cool” anymore, am I right?
PS – It’s spelled kewl, duh.